Snow Days Don’t Exist When You’re A Grown Up

#letitsnow

A video posted by Abby Norman (@hazelnoots) on Nov 27, 2014 at 6:11am PST

Remember when you were a kid and you would wake up to the delightful realization that it was a SNOW DAY and you DIDN’T HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL?!

Great, huh? But then you grow up and suddenly you’re 21 years old and there is no such thing as a Snow Day and you’re white-knuckling it ten miles to work at 5:30 in the morning screaming along to the radio wondering if you’re going to die while Black Velvet plays from your car’s stereo.

That’s adulthood for ya.

Actually, there’s a lot that changes about Snow Days when you’re an adult. That is, if you actually get one. I work from home, so, technically, Snow Days mean nothing to me now — but, a few years ago when I worked in an actual office, I learned what Snow Days meant to most people over the age of ten.

First of all — if you live in Maine, and I’d wager most of New England, there’s no reason not to have snow tires if you don’t have four-wheel drive or, you know, rock chains.  The first rule of learning to drive was, consequently, mastering the art of getting my snow tires put on before the first storm of the year. It only took one year of trying to navigate through a snow drift without them to whip me into shape about perfecting this timing.

The second thing you learn, especially if you’re female and there’s a business casual expectation to be met at your place of employment, is that you always wear boots and take your pumps/ballet flats/other office-friendly footwear with you. You do not, under any circumstances, attempt to navigate an icy parking lot in three inch heels.

The closest thing you can expect to get out of a snowstorm to a legit Snow Day is the Grown-Up equivalent to an “early release” day from school, wherein your boss takes pity on you and lets you leave early. Of course, there are certainly days when you’d just as well sleep under your desk rather than fighting the elements to go dig your car out of the parking lot and slide home.

Sidenote: someone on Facebook was confused the other day about why people put up their windshield wipers when they know it’s going to snow while they’re at work — they were like, “Why?! Is this a New England thing?!” — No, no, it’s just a smart thing to do . . .so your wipers don’t get lodged under all that snow and freeze, causing you to stand in the parking lot smashing your windshield for twenty minutes trying to free them.

Are there people who *don’t* do this? That confuses me.

If you’re like me and you work from home, or you have a home-office, then you really don’t get a Snow Day. Or Sick Days. You literally work no matter what. Armageddon could be at your front door and you’d be like, “Can you come back in a half hour, I’m on a conference call.”

Of course, eventually I’m going to need to leave the house because I finished off my bag of coffee this morning . . .so, shoveling will need to happen. Gee, I wish coffee shops delivered.

Abby Norman

About Abby Norman

Abby Norman is a Maine writer and journalist. She reports and manages social media for Midcoast Maine’s VStv-88 and is working on a memoir to be released in Spring of 2017. She’s represented by Peter Tallack. She is a 2015 Stanford Medicine X ePatient Scholar, an advocate and speaker on endometriosis, foster care and autism. She is a member in good standing of The Society for Professional Journalists and the National Writer’s Union. She lives in Camden with her dog, Whimsy.